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The role of caregiver can be rewarding, challenging, and everything in between.
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Who is one-on-one caregiver coaching for? Perhaps you are a parent of a child with communication challenges, or maybe you are an adult child of a parent who relies on you day-to-day. Maybe you are a teacher who gives your whole self to your students and feels defeated and depleted at the end of the day. I am here to support and guide you to a more intentional, peaceful, and joyful life. Coaching is the self-investment tool that moves you from feeling anxious or stuck to feeling empowered and energized.
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Please reach out to Sheila@thetalkingplace.co if you have a question for Sheila.
Let's start by talking about what stuttering is, then we'll discuss recommendations for those who think their child might have a stutter.
Most children have disfluent speech at times. In fact, most people have disfluent speech at times. Stuttering, however, is different that these typical disfluencies. Stuttering is a neurological condition that causes interruptions in the flow of speaking. The person who stutters is not just nervous. They are not confused about what they want to say. They didn't forget to breathe. Simply stated, they have a speaking system that throws them unexpected curve balls. This results in intermittent repetitions, prolonged sounds, and/or silent pauses. Stuttering is also influenced by the thoughts and feelings of the person who is stuttering. It is not the same with every stutterer, and it is not the same as what the non-stutterer experiences when they get "tripped up" on their words. One thing most stutters have in common is a feeling of loss of control.
"Stuttering is everything we do trying not to stutter." - Charles Van Riper
Stuttering is more than the repetitions, prolongations, and blocks the listener observes. It also includes all of the thoughts, feelings, and reactions of the stutterer. Stuttering is poorly understood by the general public. Because of this, every person who stutters is subject to a societal stigma that can affect their lives in different ways.
It is not always obvious whether your child is stuttering. It may be that they are just showing typical disfluent speech as they learn to navigate more complex speaking tasks. You may be told by others to "wait at least six months," or that "they'll grow out of it," or even "don't say anything about it and it will go away." I don't believe in any of this well-meaning advice. While 75-80% of children who stutter will return to mostly fluent speech on their own, that 20-25% of children for whom the stuttering persists should not be deprived access to good care. Attitudes and feelings about stuttering are formed at a young age, and we as their caregivers can support our children in ways than ensure healthy communication attitudes.
Caregivers can learn more about their own child's speech by connecting with a speech language pathologist/therapist (SLP/SLT) who specializes in stuttering therapy. An SLP can evaluate your child and help you decide whether your child might benefit from speech therapy. Not all people who stutter need speech therapy, so I highly recommend finding a speech therapist who practices with a client-centered perspective. This means that your child's assessment and treatment plan will be highly tailored to your child's individual strengths and challenges and you will be involved in your child's treatment decisions.
You may be aware that many children go through a period of disfluency as they are learning to speak. You may have been told that your child will "grow out of it." The truth is that many children do resolve their disfluent speech patterns without any intervention. Research studies have shown that 75-80% of children who have disfluent speech will end up with typically fluent speech without speech therapy.
So, "Why consider addressing the stuttering if they are likely to grow out of it on their own?" That answer is a little more complicated. Basically, children develop communication attitudes at an early age. Addressing the stuttering directly creates an opportunity for a child to develop understanding and confidence in their communication. If they become knowledgeable about stuttering, aware of their own strengths in communication, and able to self-advocate when confronted by others who don't understand stuttering, they will be in a much better place, whether they continue to stutter or not.
It is not true that talking about stuttering with a child makes it "stick" or makes it "worse." In fact, high quality early intervention develops and strengthens communication skills for life. Even if a child's stuttering dissipates as they get older, the increased knowledge, empathy, and confidence will likely stay with them into adulthood.
Not every child needs speech therapy. If you want support in deciding what your child needs, I recommend contacting a speech therapy clinic, like The Talking Place, where you will find an SLP who is well-versed in stuttering assessment and treatment and connected to the stuttering community. This will ensure your child's communication needs are addressed in the way that respects their individuality and sees their potential.
The quick answer here is, no, we do not need to be afraid to talk about stuttering in front of our children who are, or may be, stuttering. Many years ago there was a theory, called the Diagnosogenic Theory, that blamed a child's stuttering on the parents and suggested that by telling the child they were stuttering the child stuttered more, and it stuck. This isn't true at all. In fact, NOT addressing the stutter can create the sense that the child is doing something so bad, that even their loved ones cannot talk about it. There are many messages in our society that disfluent speech is due to a lack of intelligence or confidence, but we have an opportunity to interrupt that harmful message for the children in our care.
So what can you do that won't make things worse? Making stuttering a topic that is okay to discuss will go a long way. Kids often do not know what is happening when they stutter and they benefit from your caring explanation of what's going on. Let them know it's okay, that they can take the time they need to finish their message. Let them know that they are not talking wrong, that stuttering is something that happens with some people, and that you love to hear their ideas. Encourage them to keep talking, even if they are stuttering. If they have a particularly difficult time getting their words out, you can acknowledge it like you would any struggle you saw them having. Most caregivers of kids who stutter find stuttering is best addressed in a matter-of-fact way, with no judgement, plenty of compassion, and expressions of support when needed.
No. You absolutely did not create this condition in your child!
Caregivers cannot cause stuttering. Stuttering is a neurological condition with a potential genetic component, so it often runs in families. The latest research seems to suggest that people who stutter are born with a brain that is wired to stutter.
Parents and caregivers can make a difference in their child's experience of communication and stuttering. They can provide support as their child navigates the fact that their own body isn't responding the way they want. They can influence their child's environments and their growing perspectives on stuttering and communication. This can make all the difference for some children. A child who would have had an experience that overwhelmed and defined them might instead have an experience that encourages them. A child's environment can teach them that stuttering does not have to hold them back from doing everything they want to do in life.